mm irl catchall

[tinged]

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8/28 (MONDAY)

[tinged]

[ monday morning wakes mithrun up with a text: ]

Good morning!

[ and then another one: ]

I'll be there in half an hour! Can you read over the list and veto anything you might mind? Feel free to add to it.

- Good morning text
- Good morning kiss (Just one)
- Share clothes
- Hold hands (A lot!!!)
- Share meals together (Feed him lots) (Thai??)
- Ice cream dessert
- Malibu beach for
- Surfing!
- Potato balls brunch
- Take selfies (A lot, for Justy君)
- Wish Justy君 good morning together before dinner
- Movie??
- Order in dinner? (During movie for extra cuddle time!)
- Make wishes (Together, if possible. One wish minimum)
- Cuddle in same bed! (Pajamas optional!)
- More kisses. (Throughout day OK)
- Leave a mark
- Say good morning
- And see you again soon

After PVP Tournament; Before Weekend

[tinged]

[ after the tournament, after justy, and after hani runs through their options and clumsily comes up with a working plan (in the sense that the wheels spin but the chain has fallen loose and they haven’t noticed), they send mithrun a text around dinnertime. ]

May I come over tonight? Thirty minutes?

[tablescraps]

( It doesn't take too long to get a response. )

All right. Do you want to go anywhere?

[tinged]

[ yes, hani nods to themself, taking mithrun out somewhere would be fun - then shake their head quickly, no, no. that's not part of the plan. ]

Date next time! Tonight is just us first. I'll be there soon.

[tablescraps]

Okay. See you.

( Mithrun, none the wiser...

Mithrun lives in one of those expensive, private apartments overlooking a beachside. Despite its price, there's not much in the way of security to actually get to the door - so Hani can stroll up easy enough, Malibu, as ever, bustling with tourists squeezing in one last bit of vacation, and eternally ocean-minded locals.

When Hani rings, Mithrun, at least, has good sense to open the door on time. He has a little food on his face (he just finished dinner) and his hair has been brushed through once but not styled, and he's dressed okay enough in an oversized t-shirt and silk shorts - the sort of clothes you lounge around the house in during summer. The house is gorgeously furnished, but kind of in the staged way, like it was put together for a sales catalogue. It kind of seems like this might have been the furniture the apartment came with when it was bought.

He pushes open the door so Hani can come in. His expression seems the same as ever, but Hani asking to come over wasn't unpleasant at all. )

Hello.

[tinged]

[ the drive is quick, painless. most people are coming back to LA from work, not out of it. dressed in a stylish casual oversized t-shirt and short-short jeans, the weather doesn’t affect them much. the entire time, hani has a mantra they repeat in their head, lest they get distracted and forget.

stick to the plan, hani, stick to the plan - but oh, mithrun is so beautiful that hani sets aside the greeting to push him (gently, intently) into his own apartment. the door swings itself shut with a click as they lean up to kiss him, cradling his face. sweet kisses made sweeter still when they lick off of the rest of the food around his lips and cheeks. mm. they pull back with a soft sound. ]

Hello. [ an almost helpless smile, before they rapidly blink away the heat and dazzle from their eyes. aaaa, the plan!! ] Are you alright?

[tablescraps]

( Hani is as Hani as ever, and Mithrun finds he doesn't mind it. He lets them kiss him in the same way he always is with Hani and Tylor (or, had been with Tylor, prior to an impromptu break...) - and settles into his face in their hands, as if accepting he will simply occupy this space forever now. )

... I'm fine. Did something happen?

[ post Skype, after hanging with Morgan ] [text]

[tylorific]

thank you. for being there and for trying.

i'll call him later, so please don't worry.

and no matter where fate takes us all, I love you. you're just right.

[tinged]

[ hani stares at justy’s texts for a long time. they wonder if… ]

I’m sorry. I can only let you go if you’ll be happier without me. Will you?

… But even then, I’ll stay.

[ an apology? for everything they haven’t gotten quite right. for being there to make him late for mithrun’s answer. and then for nearly leaving in mithrun’s hands.

and they wonder if… ]

I want to be worried, I think. I love you both. Would it be possible to love you both more? How?

[ and if… ]

If the both of us promised to love him and only him, would that ever be enough despite two?

[tylorific]

no.

do you want to leave too?

you can only ever love someone as much as youre meant to. and sometimes it doesn't matter how much because they can't, or won't, ever love you back as much.

and that's alright. It's not anyones fault. we just need more time, we don't need to decide anything right now.

but i don't regret it either. we know how we all feel now, and he can say no to us no matter how much it hurts.

people leave, it'll be okay.

[tinged]

And give up your heart? Never.

You’re the only one I’ll ever love this way. Should I tell you how?

[ but if mithrun came back to ask for it and only it, would they…?

they would keep a small piece, tuck it in deep, and give back the rest. let justy slip through their fingers like catching water - impossibly precious, impossible to contain. ]

I don’t regret anything. I don’t regret his truth or his wants, and I don’t regret my own. I just wish he could be happy with his choice.

I know he’s not.

[tylorific]

how?

I don't think so either, but people have to make their own decisions.

we have to let him go if that's what he wants. that doesn't mean we have to love him any less for it.

[tinged]

Like there’s a blizzard outside that’s strangely silent. It’s beautiful and cold. It’s nice that everything feels the same out there, each little spot blanketed by snow, the details blurred together. It’s peaceful.

And then I think of you and your door opens for me without question, bringing me in from the cold. I think of you and there’s a fireplace that warms me up from the top of my head to the tips of my toes. The warm air smells like you, stealing away the frost at my breath. I fall into your cozy blankets and you cover me up and hold me close.

And then I wake up and spend another day missing you. But I’m happy.

That’s how.

I know, without words, that he’ll spend his life missing you if he goes. And you would miss him, too.

Of course, we’ll love him all the same. But I think he would like it if we could be angry, too.

Phone text, Saturday, 9:17 PM PST

[tablescraps]

379 kabru

[tinged]

[ hani grips their phone in both hands. there’s only shaky breathing for a long time. ]

I won’t be late.

[ not this time. ]

[tylorific]

[ Tylor, hair mussed and face full of sleep opens one eye as he sits up in bed beside Hani. Rubbing at the closed one, he looks over to Hani, in the dark save for the light of their phone. A blink. His voice is still a little raw-- ]

What's wrong?

[tinged]

[ hani slips into a hug immediately. justy’s warm and real and raw, so this message must be - ]

We’re awake? Right now?

[tylorific]

[ With a warm humming sound, Justy reaches for Hani like he's still half asleep. His arms wrap around them almost on pure instinct as he buries his face in their hair and squeezes them.

Just to see if they're real, awake, alive. ]

Yep.

[tinged]

[ they’re real; it’s real.

hani breathes him in, sleep-mussed and all heat like the best sort of blanket. ]

But it still feels like a dream. And at the same time, like we’ve woken up from a long nightmare. Justy-kun, look.

[ they pull back to show him their phone screen. numbers and a name that mean everything. ]

Fall してもいい [Plague]

[tinged]

[ hani gets the text when they're at the apartment they share with kara. having multiple important people in the same area of the world means there are days of the week where they feel stretched thin, a small part of a bigger whole held up to the light to test for rips and tears and found just - good enough. for now, for today. but what about tomorrow? it's fine.

Get tylor out of the game

which is short for vogel, who has all the patient words in the world for hani usually. but hani listens, as they do, usually.

something is wrong, then. how bad? if it was like - like last week, vogel would have said, right?? right. the thrum of the engine, the thrum of their nerves are the soundtrack for the drive back home. (home where he is; where hani has left their heart.) the worry that gnaws at their stomach sharply reminds them of starvation despite the week it's spent gorging on their spirit. all the parts that made hani, hani - barely put back together.

and they refuse to fall apart again.

they don't toe off their shoes, neither do they call out his name. the clatter of the door opening and slamming shut, the quickened steps thumping through the apartment should be warning enough if he can even hear them. check the bedroom first, check the bed where he's supposed to be safe and happy and theirs. ]

[tylorific]

[ Tylor is slumped, headset still firmly in place, light indicating he is online. But his breathing is a little ragged, his fingers twitch if Hani watches them long enough. Otherwise, he seems fine. I'm okay is already easy to hear, even though he's clearly been logged in too long. He's wearing the same clothes he'd been in when Hani had last seen him in real life. Loose tank top, too big, and loose fitting shorts; crumpled and dark in the room with the blinds closed.

There's no reaction to Hani's entrance. Only nonsensical mumbling softly about love,

his friends

who are they? ]

[tinged]

[ he’s breathing, he’s talking - that’s enough to bring some form of mild relief, a temporary thing.

hani’s instinct is always gentle, first. they start at his shoulders, surprisingly sturdy to those who don’t know him. hani loves the shape of them, always just enough give for their arms or their head. they move up the sharp grooves of his collar to his neck, the vulnerable skin underneath his jawbone is felt with steady fingers.

they rest there for a moment. tha-thump, break, tha-thump, break. their heart can’t seem to sync up with his. hm. ]

… Justy-kun?

[ low, cautious, as they cradle his jaw. a vocal nudge to wake. what they murmur next is intimate and possessive, multiple syllables of love and a request in three beats that mean two words:

wake up. ]

[tylorific]

[ There's no reaction to Hani's touch, besides the twitching of his fingers. His lips keep moving, slow and unreadable with no sound escaping anymore.

A subtle inhale. There is acknowledgment of the words Hani speaks, his head leaning up into them ever so slightly-- ]

Huh? Wake up?

[tinged]

Yes, that’s it. [ the timbre says beloved; it says listen and closer. ] Wake up and come back to me.

[ what follows is a kiss, that yields to the stiff lips below them. hani’s hands continue to cradle his face, mirrors until one breaks away to feel for the metal and plastic. and again, gentle - gentle is the motion when they tug it off and set it off to the side, keeping his lips occupied with coaxing pressure, keeping his face close with their hand.

they have no idea how jarring the disconnect might be for him, so they want him to wake to love. he’ll find hands waiting to keep him. ]

[tylorific]

[ Tylor feels the kiss, or maybe his lips react on instinct to the press of Hani's.

The loss of the headset has him jolting, a pained inhale as the head in Hani's hands go slack. Without them there, he might've hurt himself. His eyes blink open in the dark, and for a brief moment there is confusion. No recognition.

But then it blooms hard and fast, an outpouring of need as it floods his senses. From no sense of touch to it all, restored by a kiss that he chases now. With renewed vigor he reverses the flow of pressure towards Hani--surging like a drowning man seeking the air from their lungs. He pushes them back, hands sliding down their lower back to keep them here. Close, alive, fingers digging slightly just to feel their warmth and skin. ]